The Gang's New Year's Resolutions

    New Year's Resolutions.  The promises you make to yourself at the beginning of the new year. Maybe you tell someone else or maybe you write them down. Typical resolutions: Exercise more. Eat less. Or eat healthier food. Read more. Watch less trashy TV. Be a better person. Which means be kinder to those people who irritate you. Clean your house more. Call your mother more. All well intentioned. 

    I decide that our three new kitties--Theo, Sienna and Mico--can benefit from setting New Year's resolutions. At the time it seems a good idea. I explain the concept to Theo. 

    "Theo, your mission is to come up with three resolutions. See what Mico and Sienna think. The trick is to find things that can make your lives better."

    Theo, the little gangster cat, is lounging on the sofa at the time. He's just finished breakfast, and although I think I see him nod, he also appears to be giving me the slant eye. I could be wrong.

    I go off to write out sample resolutions. Of late, since Mico and Sienna have arrived, their behavior--putting aside the assault on the Christmas tree--has been mildly atrocious. 

    My sample list:

    1. We will stay off the dining room table. Always.

    2. We will not eat the plants or jump on the plant stand.

    3. We will not use dad's toothbrush as a toy and hide it under the guest room bed.

     This is not a random list. Each one of these behaviors is well documented. And, they know they should not be doing these things. Nevertheless, if either Dan or I come down the stairs, we will, on various occasions, catch any one of them stretched out on the dining room table in the small patch of sun that is shining through the window. Immediately, they will jump down onto the chairs and pretend to be engaged in some other activity. The little hoodlums. We have found Dan's toothbrush under the guest room bed. AND the plants on the plant stand are slowly disappearing as if by magic with only remnants of what used to be a plant on the floor.

    Fast forward. It is my opinion that all resolutions should be formalized by New Year's Eve. I confront all three of them on the upstairs landing. It is clear they've been conferring. Of course, when they spot me, Sienna pretends to pay attention. Mico begins to groom his coat. Theo heads for one of the tunnels in the cat tree--to hide.

    "Theo, your list. Three resolutions."

    Theo moonwalks back to the center of the landing. This is his big moment. He does not have a loud meow, but he meows with confidence. 

    1. We will eat more snacks.

    2. We will spend more time playing.

    3. We will guard our house from all intruders, especially those pesky squirrels and birds.

    I can hardly believe my ears, but before I can say a word, six eyes are on me, waiting for my reaction. This is a teachable moment. Where did I go wrong? My own words come back to haunt me--the trick is to find things that can make your lives better. 

    And that's the difference between cats and humans. They live for the moment. They play. They dream of snacks. And they sleep the most heavenly of sleeps. We humans, on the other hand, come up with ways to make our lives better (or more miserable)?

    "Good job, Theo," I hear myself saying. 

    "Is it snack time?" Mico meows. 

     Sienna is not pretending now. She is really listening!

      Have a Happy New Year!!!