Rascal Chuck--a Missionary Cat

 

 

         We feel so bad for him. Chuck has had enough of Egypt. Enough of mummies. Enough of churches and mosques. He wants to go back to the hotel and veg out. 

        The problem is—we haven’t yet seen what we came to see. When we say to Chuck, we still have to see Dan’s house, we don’t mean the one in the states. We mean the one in Egypt. The one he grew up in. In Heliopolis. 

         When you have missionaries for parents, you can live just about anywhere. Dan, his two sisters, and one brother lived in a rather large house. They had a cook, a gardener/gatekeeper, and a governess. That house still exists and now belongs to the Egyptian Evangelical Church. We want to see it, and we want to go inside.

Unfortunately, Chuck has to come with us. We try to explain all this to Chuck, but somehow he gets the wrong idea.

         I think it starts when we meet up with two missionaries who have agreed to help—Noah Park and his wife. They live in Egypt, and they have a car, which is a big bonus. We’re eager to find the house. But they have their own agenda.

         “Don’t worry,” Noah says, “we’ll find the house. But first, we have to go to the seminary.”

         That’s where Dan’s father worked while Dan’s family lived in Egypt.

         “You want to see the seminary, right?” Noah asks.

         The real answer is no. Dan doesn’t really want to see it, but he’s caught. If he says no, it won’t look good. Truth is—he wants to see the house. And Chuck wants to go back to the hotel. So he's immediately suspicious. His eyes get big and his ears are twitching back and forth. Seminary?? Why are they taking me to the seminary?

         How exciting can a seminary be, you ask? I have no expectations. I want to see the house. BUT we’re in for a big surprise. 

         It’s a nice brick building, all right, and still to this day, the center of the missionary efforts that are going on in Cairo. Noah leads us inside. You must traverse a long hallway. There are photos posted on the wall to your right.

         Dan spots his father in one of the group photos immediately. He's in the front row, last man on the right side, wearing glasses. The photo is dated 1964. That’s cool. He’s part of history.

       Politely, we look at the other photos. At this point, I’m in charge of Chucky. He is not being a cooperative cat. He doesn’t want to be here, and he doesn’t want to be carried around as if he’s an invalid. 

At least I think that's what the problem is.

         His position is clear—if I have to be here, let me at least walk around and sniff the place out. I can’t smell anything up here. And I can’t really see anything.

         But, it’s tricky. I know for a fact Noah wouldn’t approve. Cats in a seminary?

         “Wow.” Now Dan is pointing to an older photo on the wall. Dated 1863. His great grandfather, J.R. Alexander. He was a missionary in Egypt, too. There he is, long beard and all, posing with a group of all missionaries.

         Noah gets excited. Now, we’re more than two Americans looking for a house in Egypt. We’ve been promoted to royalty. He wants to pull us into meet the head guy who is in charge here at the seminary.

         Dan follows him. I make a rash decision. I put Chucky down. “Stay here. Sniff all you want. But do not leave this room. And try to make yourself inconspicuous.”

        But Chucky looks like that's exactly what he wants to do--leave the room. Leave the seminary.

        "What's the matter?" 

        He looks around as if he's going to be abducted at any moment.

        "Chuck, you don't think . . . no, that's not why you're here. We're not signing you up to be a missionary cat. No. No."

        Chucky heaves a big sigh of relief. 

         "You poor deluded boy."

         Then I run after Dan and Noah.

         “Do you know who this is?” Noah is already introducing Dan to his boss.

         Now everyone wants to shake our hands. Get to know us. Give us the ten cent tour. Unfortunately, they have a museum upstairs—all of one room. Dan goes up to see it. I beg off, thinking this is crazy. All we want to do is see the house. Plus, I’m worried that Chucky left to his own devices too long is bound to get into some kind of trouble.

         We are on our way out of the seminary. Chucky is waiting by the door.

         I hurry ahead and scoop him up. “You're supposed to be inconspicuous,” I whisper as I slide him into the backpack. The poor rascal cat looks exhausted or rather traumatized.

         We pile into the car. Dan gives Noah the address. Finally, we are on our way to the house.

         For some unexplainable reason, Chuck lets out a skin curdling MEOW.

         “Is that a cat?” Noah asks.

 

         TO BE CONTINUED . . .

Rascal Chuck and the Holy Family?

        This is my idea and not Chuck's. Seeing the place where the Holy Family stayed centuries ago is not his idea. In all honesty, I'm not even sure if he knows who the Holy Family is. Chuck has never been to church and never meowed a prayer. He probably doesn't have a religious bone in his cat body.

        Still it's hard to pass up opportunities when they fall in your lap. Dan and I are in Cairo, Egypt, visiting the Hanging Church and very, very nearby is the Saint Sergius and Bacchus Church. Which means nothing to most people but if you know your history, you know that you are about to walk into a place where Mary and Joseph and the infant Jesus most likely, most probably stayed when they needed to find refuge from King Herod's decree--called the Massacre or Slaughter of the Innocents. Herod ordered the massacre/slaughter of all male children who were two years or younger and lived in the vicinity of Bethlehem. (He'd heard the prophesy that Jesus was coming.) Bingo. That's all Joseph needed to hear. He left Israel and came to Egypt.

        "Should we even bring Chucky into this Church?" I ask. 

        "I'll keep him in my backpack." 

        It sounds like a good plan. Of course, we have to explain where we're going so we give the rascal cat the shortened version of the story that brings us here. Important people. You don't know them. They stayed here. Many years ago. In fact, Joseph is believed to have worked at the Babylon fortress, an Ancient Roman fortress built around 30 BC. while they were here. 

        Babylon, at that time, was a town of some importance, we tell Chucky, as we are entering the Church. But he's already midway to a catnap.  Frankly, I'm relieved. The last thing I want is for him to do something crazy. Not in this church. Please.

        We learn that Babylon was the headquarters of three legions of soldiers who insured that Egypt stay under Rome's control.

       We learn that the Church is dedicated to Sergius and Bacchus, soldier-saints martyred during the 4th century in Syria. 

        Inside the Church is the crypt where the Holy Family rested, which I'm most anxious to see. We put the backpack with Chuck in a pew in the corner. Chucky is still napping. His eyes are closed. So far so good. 

    

  

    

    The crypt is ten meters deep. I stare at it for a long time.

        There is only one more thing to see. The well that the Holy Family drank from.

        

       I can hardly believe I'm here. I look around and frankly don't know what I expect to see. Perhaps, a vision? I know that's a bit ridiculous, but just the idea that Joseph and Mary and Jesus, who I've heard about all my life, were actually here in this very spot is unnerving. 

        I'm amazed that other people around me are walking around like they're in Burger King or something. Some are laughing. Pointing. Missing the significance? Is my faith deeper than I suspected?

        Rascal Chuck, for the first time, behaves like a very normal cat. He could have jumped into the well, for example. Or he could have made a scene in the crypt. But he causes no trouble. Outside the Church, when we're in the van, going back to the hotel, we give him a handful of his favorite treats--those chicken flavored Temptations. As a reward.

        Then we're worried. Is he sick? It's not like Chuck to be so well behaved. But he's munching away and purring so our fears are laid to rest. Maybe, he does know after all, that we were in a very special place. 

        No sense getting on His bad side! 

Rascal Chuck Visits the Hanging Church

       From the very beginning, the rascal cat doesn't want to go. We're still in Cairo, have just finished a delicious lunch at a fabulous restaurant, have puffed on or sniffed our hookah pipe, and seen the mosque. Full day, right? But there's one more thing I have to see.

        The Hanging Church. 

        Of course, this is no ordinary church. Nothing in Egypt is bland or ordinary. The church has a rich, complicated and disputed history. Dan tries his best to capture Chuck's interest by sharing what he feels are the most interesting details.

        "Chuck," Dan says, after we climb up the steps and walk under the archway, which used to be part of a Roman fortress, "this is one of the oldest churches in Egypt. It dates back to the 3rd century and belongs to the Coptic Orthodox Church of America."

       I fear Dan is crawling into the weeds. Coptic Orthodox Church? He wants Chuck to understand there is a Christian tradition in this predominantly Muslim country, but I imagine as Dan is speaking, he sounds like the way adults sound to Charlie Brown: whah, whah, whah, whah, whah. 

        "Tell Chuck the most interesting part," I plead.

        Dan plods on. "The Church was most likely renovated by Pope Abraham."

        I interrupt. "Because he had a dream. Or was it a dream? Some people believe--"

         "Some people believe it was an apparition. In 970. An apparition of Mary, the Mother of Jesus. What he saw is now accepted as a Marion Apparition."

         "This is the good part," I add loudly.

         "People can claim to see Mary. Or hear her. Or see a statue of Mary crying. But you need to visually see her and she needs to be located in your environment in order for it to be considered real and an intervention of divine power."

         "That's why, Chucky, this church is dedicated to the Virgin Mary. She's appeared many times here, Chucky. You need to keep your eyes open. You never know."

        I look down at Chuck and he's staring at us as if all of this is a bit too much. 

        "Over the years this church has been used to consecrate holy oil, select and bury patriarchs, and, unfortunately, judge heresy trials."   

        

        

        "Maybe we shouldn't tell him that part," I say to Dan.

        We both look down at the same time to see how Chuck is reacting or, frankly, if he's even listening to this last part about the heresy trials.

        He's gone. 

        Now the Hanging Church is a popular destination for tourists, believe it or not. There are people milling around us. Coming and going. Admiring the icons on the walls. Probably imagining the fact that the Virgin Mary was actually here. 

        Where is he? 

          We only took our eyes off of him for a second. 

      "He can't have gone far."

       "He must be right around here somewhere."

       We're in the main body of the church now, walking down the aisles, looking right and left. I spot him first and point.

        "Unbelievable." 

        The Rascal Cat is lying down in one of the pews, head resting on one of his paws, next to an elderly lady who is also taking a moment to catch her breath. She's resting and Chuck is cat napping.

        "Chuck, you might have missed an apparition," I say.

        "I think the poor kid is worn out," Dan says. 

        "You missed your chance to make history, Chuck."

        But, obviously, Chuck doesn't care. Dan lifts him up. If the Virgin Mary is appearing today, it won't be to Chuck. That's a fact.

        

         

        

         

Rascal Chuck and the Hookah Pipe

        After we leave the mosque, we decide to visit one of the most famous tourist markets in Cairo--the Kahan el-Khalili Bazaar. We want to float down the streets and see the locals, the shops, the food, the architecture and become totally immersed in the Egyptian experience. The bazaar is located in Cairo's historic center and is home to many Egyptian artisans and workshops. There are street food vendors and small, traditional coffeeshops, the oldest of which dates back to 1773.  

     

      We're not sure how Chuck is going to react to the crowds so it's good we've come earlier before the bazaar is super crowded. Dan carries him around in his backpack as we walk past the shops. 

      Our pace is not exactly leisurely because--full disclosure--Chuck and I harbor this secret desire to smoke a hookah pipe, and we're on our way to a hookah shop. I don't smoke cigarettes. I don't vape. But there is something about the hookah pipe Chuck and I both find fascinating. 

        For me, it dates back to a film I saw years ago. Picture a very handsome Egyptian man and and English girl, in an open air restaurant, located on an Egyptian rooftop, smoking a hookah pipe. They are relaxed. He hands her the pipe. Luscious music wafts through the air. She's wearing a veil over her hair (in keeping with the Egyptian customs) that gently sways in the breeze. She inhales and a smile forms on her face. 

        For Chuck, it was probably something he saw on the History Channel.

        Egypt is known for having the best hookahs. Some people say that smoking a hookah, which is essentially a water pipe, is less harmful than a cigarette but that's not true. You are still literally smoking tobacco, which usually has either a fruit or molasses sugar added for flavoring. 

        Chuck and I are under no delusions. This is not something we should be doing a lot of (lung cancer, emphysema, etc.) but we intend to have one puff only. We want the experience. 

        "There they are, Chuck." 

        Our wonderful Egyptian guide is taking us to the store that sells the pipes, and there on display is the most magnificent array of colorful hookah pipes. We gaze in through the window in awe.  

      

        Luckily, there is a small room in the back where you can smoke a hookah if you want. Chuck and I are pumped. Yes. Finally. This is the day. (Dan, on the other hand, can't believe we're really going to do this.) 

        The store is amazingly small inside. We enter, walk through, and push aside a curtain to a small back room. Sure enough, there's a plain black scarred table with a hookah pipe, ready and waiting. The walls are lined with shelves, filled with stock for the store. Nothing romantic here. Nothing like the scene in the movie. I push away the momentary flash of disappointment I feel. After all, what did I expect? To push aside the curtain and end up in that same scene, to suddenly be transported to the top of an Egyptian roof?

        The steps are obvious. First, you need to fill the hookah pipe. Which has already been done. Believe it or not, there's a real art to filling your pipe--whether you put your tobacco in layers, mix it together, how moist or dry your tobacco should be, etc.) You then need to light the pipe and give it a chance to burn. 

        Our guide motions me over, and I pick the pipe up and bring it to my lips. As I inhale, the smoke that is generated from the hookah is warm. There is a bubbling sound. Smoke fills my lungs. I cough. I taste a slight apple taste. 

        (I actually cough quite a bit. Since I don't smoke cigarettes, any little smoke will set me off. So, for a moment, I almost fear the coughing which continues won't stop, but it does.) 

        And as for Chuck, the rascal cat, as he watches me take my one puff, (and literally cough my brains out) he becomes fascinated with the bubbles that the hookah makes.

        "Chuck, are you ready for your one puff?"

        No response. 

      "Chuck, this is your one and only chance."

         He jumps up on the table. I think he's going to go for it, but then . . . Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. What? 

         "Oh, well." He is more than happy just to sniff the aroma of the apple and tobacco.

        He's no dummy. When I rethink about the entire incident later, when we're safely ensconced back in our hotel room, I wonder if he didn't do the smarter thing!

       

        

Rascal Chuck Visits a Mosque

     After our encounter with the mummies, we decide to do something very different. Since we are still in the heart of Cairo, why not visit a mosque? But this is not just any mosque . . .

    I know what you're thinking. A mosque? Official definition: a place of prayer for Muslims. Usually they are covered buildings but they can be any place where prayers are performed, including outdoor courtyards. Nowadays, Muslims attend mosque on Friday for midday prayers, teaching, and sermons. Mosques are also used for weddings, funerals, Ramadan festivals, community spaces and sometimes offered as homeless shelters. 

     The Ibn Toulum Mosque is on our radar because it is special. Chucky wants to know why we want to go there. I'm willing to tell all, but first . . .

      "No nonsense, here, Chuck. You must be on your best behavior."

      When a cat is listening, really listening, they do everything to act as if they can't hear a word. Chuck is on the ground in front of us, and he decides at that very moment to begin grooming himself. I know Chuck. I know all his tricks. In fact, Chuck is what I call an "over-groomer." 

     "Chuck, do you hear me?"

      But he only grooms more intently. It's as if he's just come in from outside and been caught in the middle of a rainstorm and desperately needs to clean his fur. Utterly ridiculous because he is sparkling clean.  

     Dan grabs hold of my arm. "He hears you."

    "This mosque is one of the oldest mosques in Egypt, in all of Africa," Dan explains in his most patient voice, directed mostly at Chuck. "And it's the largest mosque in Cairo."

    Chucky stops grooming and blinks once. Does that mean he's actually listening and is impressed?

    "Listen, buddy, it's built around an open square courtyard. There's a covered hall on each of its four sides. The largest hall faces Mecca." (the holiest city in Islam.)

     Before Chucky can blink or groan, I ask, "Who built it?"

    "The then Governor of Egypt had it built in 876 AD."

    "Whoa, that was a long time ago."

     "But that's not the best part . . ."

      I'm hoping there will be something even more exciting. We are now walking into the main entrance. The place is big. I read somewhere that the grounds cover close to six acres of land.  

      "The locals believe that this mosque on a hill was built on the exact spot where Noah's Ark landed after the flood."

      I glance over to see the expression on Chuck's face. At the moment he's focused on a stream of light that's shooting down into the courtyard. I'm busy looking around at this magnificent place.

      

        "Anything else that's exciting?" I ask.

       "They made part of a James Bond film here."

       "Really? Which one?"

       "The Spy Who Loved Me."

        One thing about Chuck--other than the History Channel, he doesn't care too much for film. Not even James Bond.

        "I think we better keep moving."

        Dan points. "To the minaret." 

        One of the distinguishing features of this mosque is the minaret. 

It is a tall, slender tower with a balcony from which Muslims are called to prayer. 

      Immediately, we decide we should go to the top because we want to see the million dollar view of Cairo.

    "To the very top?" I ask.

     Dan nods. He loves a good challenge. Even if it means climbing a few thousand steps around an edge where there isn't any edge to hold onto, where you're really high up and far from the ground. I could do it because heights don't freak me out but Dan? 

      As we get closer and closer, I remind him, "Aren't you afraid of heights?"

       No answer.

       We get to the first stage of the minaret and admire the magnificent views of Cairo.

     

       

 

    I see the minaret in the distance. I'm happy where I am. 

     Dan takes off. With Chucky. 

     I figure they will be gone a good twenty minutes or so. It is a beautiful morning. The air is fresh and clean. So, I'm a bit surprised when suddenly they're back--like eight minutes later.  

     "Well, how was it?"

     "Chuck changed his mind. He didn't want to go."

     Chuck? The rascal cat? The kid that hardly ever steps away from an adventure? He changed his mind?  There has got to be more to the story.

      "What happened?"

      "Nothing. Really. We were on our way up. And we got to that first bend." He points to that part where there is no ledge at all as you go around.

       I nod. Totally understanding. More than he thinks I understand.

       "We were pretty high up off the ground."

       Images flash back. When we climbed up the pyramid that time on that rickety metal ladder-like structure that had a railing that ended just at the crucial point where Dan needed it most. 

       "Chucky is afraid of heights, I suppose," I say.

        No answer. 

        "Well, you can't blame the kid. A phobia is a phobia."

        I look down at Chuck. I'm not going to say he's rolling his eyes at his dad's version of the story but he's doing whatever cats do to show me there's no way that's what happened. 

        I lean down and whisper, "I know. I know." Then I sneak him a secret snack. A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.