Chuck and the Seagull

           When you're a Jersey girl, it is part of your DNA that demands you spend a certain amount of time each year at the Jersey shore. No if, ands, or buts. The sandy beach call you to its shores. You long to see the seagulls,  even if they will swoop down and try to steal your lunch. There is nothing more refreshing than the sea breeze blowing through your soul. 

       We are all romantics in our own way.

       I have to admit it was my idea that Saturday to take the almost two hour ride to Island Beach State Park. Although not as popular as Seaside Heights with its boardwalk and social scene, IBSP boasts ten miles of sandy beach, rolling sand dunes and tidal marshes near Barnegat Bay. It was October and cloudy. 

       But I believe in magic--that once we arrived, the sun would come out. It would be warmer, and despite dire predictions of icky weather, we would have a lovely day. 

       Chuck, the rascal cat, of course, agreed. He is always up for an adventure. And if food is involved--he heard us talking about lunch and watched as we packed our turkey sandwiches (he loves turkey)--he can't resist coming along for the ride.

        As always, I extracted a promise. "You will be good, right?"

        "Mom, of course. What mischief can I possibly get up to at the beach?" (I don't have enough fingers to count the ways.)

         Nevertheless, we packed and were ready to go in no time: cut offs, jackets, sneakers, blankets, food and Sirius XM radio to keep us entertained as we drove to the Jersey shore.

           Full disclosure. There were things we did not anticipate:

            The weather did not improve. It was windy. Very windy. Cold. But that did not deter us. We arrived at Island Beach State Park--no one else was in sight. We drove in and kept on going down the long, straight road that leads to the ocean. Parked the car. Got our gear. Maneuvered Chuck into a backpack so we could move more quickly toward the beach. (At least it wasn't raining.)

        

     The sandy path to the beach was very long. We were carrying a lot of gear. A lot of food. And blankets. And Chuck. About half way there we almost gave up. Where is the beach?? The water? It's hard to walk in the sand, carrying things, in sneakers. 

            The day was very windy. Imagine the kind of scene you see on TV when you're watching a hurricane make landfall. Through teary eyes--windy--we put our bright red blanket down, and it blew away. Everything we put down blew away. Chuck almost blew away. He started complaining. Meowing. 

             "He's just hungry." I put some food down, but you guessed it, it blew away. It took us awhile to get settled. To anchor the blanket with our bags and sit down. Geez. It wasn't supposed to be this hard.

             Chuck disappeared. I shouldn't have been surprised. Something always happens with Chuck. You take your eyes off of him for one moment and . . . 

              "There he is," Dan said. 

              Chuck was chasing a seagull who was racing toward the ocean. With Chuck's food. Who would have believed that at the very moment when Chuck had stopped meowing and was eating, that a seagull would swoop down and grab the turkey piece, practically right out of our fearless hero's mouth . . . 

                At first Chuck was stunned. But, boy, that kid can run. When he's motivated. And he wasn't bothered by wet sand or the ever increasing blowing wind. He was running for justice. To retrieve what was rightfully his.

              Dan leaped up. "I'll get him."

          Luckily, Chuck did not blindly follow the seagull into the water. He stopped on the edge where the waves were washing up on the sand and stood there, no doubt cursing his bad luck. Dan scooped him up and brought him back.

              "I'm warning you," I said, wanting to shake the living daylights out of him.

              "You saw what happened," he meowed back defiantly.

              "Sometimes you have to let things go, Chucky."

               But he was already on the blanket, grooming himself, self-soothing is what the vet calls it. 

              The ocean was beautiful. We are not complete blockheads. Finally, after the Chuck and seagull episode, we managed to hold our sandwiches and gaze out at the ocean. We hadn't seen the Jersey shore in awhile. Watching the waves roll in and out--priceless. 

              Later, we packed up, took a long walk away from the water, where it was less windy. And actually had a good time. On the way home, in Chuck's version of events, he managed to wrestle his turkey back from the seagull. Always the hero, my rascal Chuck!

STAY TUNED FOR MORE ADVENTURES WITH CHUCK.  PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT. CHUCK WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU. JUST CLICK ON "NO COMMENTS." IT'S EASY.

    

            

Chuck is Hero During Baby Crab Attack

 

        I’ve lived in Jersey all my life and I love the Jersey shore, but I’ll admit it here and now, I’m no fan of crabbing and fishing.
Every year when my sister rents a shore house near the bay, with the express intention of crabbing and fishing, I know I’ll face the pressure to finally learn how to set a trap or bait a line or do whatever they spend hours doing on the dock.
I was prepared to withstand the pressure.
But this year I brought the rascal Chuck with me, and the kid seemed curiously interested.  He kept wandering over to the dock and sniffing around.  He sat mesmerized watching as my nieces and nephews did all the "fishermanly things", hoping to catch a crab or two or three or four, enough for a delicious feast.  He became fascinated with the concept of the crab cages being lowered into the water with chicken wings used for bait.  

            He insisted on perching on the built-in benches facing the water while one of my nieces walked from line to line, which were hanging off the dock, checking to see if a crab was clinging yet to the bait (the sorry heads of fish) that someone had strung to the lines.

I figured what could it hurt.  After all, Chuck has always been a curious cat.  An adventurous cat.  I’d been a bit concerned that he’d be bored staying at a beach house, but luckily this crabbing and fishing caught his interest. 
And things were rolling along quite smoothly until they weren’t.  
Imagine a beautiful evening.  The day had been hot, in the high eighties, but now a cool breeze swept through as the sun began to set.  This is my favorite time of the evening, and my niece had just wandered out of the house to check the crab traps and lines AGAIN, hoping that something had finally either latched onto a line or crawled into a trap.
Chuck scampered out of the house, too, following my niece and perched as usual on one of the benches, his eagle eye watching her every movement.  
She yanked up line after line, but there was nothing on the end but the bait.
Then, as went to pull up yet another line, she stopped and met my gaze. 
“I think we’ve got something,” she said, stilling the upward momentum.
“I’ll get the net.”  
After all, maybe the weight of the crab had clued her into its presence, and we would need the net to help capture him/her.  Suddenly, I imagined this gigantic crab clinging to the head of the fish, chomping away and none too happy that we were disturbing his meal.  
And, of course, Chuck came closer.  He probably sensed that something was about to happen.  Or maybe he could smell the crab on the end of the line, and didn’t want to miss out on anything.
I skedaddled down the dock toward the net that someone had carelessly thrown on the stones that lined the dock.  Of course, I almost killed myself because there was a step down that I didn’t see until it was too late.  But I didn’t lose my balance.  It was awkward, but I managed to maintain my stride.  I grabbed the net and ran back to where my niece stood there in a kind of suspended animation.
“Ready?” she asked.
I nodded and tilted the net toward the water. 
Yeah, I can guess what you’re thinking.  It was as if we were on some desert island somewhere and we hadn’t eaten in weeks and this one crab would be the difference between life and death, but you don’t know our family.  There is no glory in telling the story of the crab that got away.  We wanted the glory!
“Okay.”  And I glanced at Chuck and gave him the eye, which meant--don’t do anything weird.  Just sit there.  Be a good cat.  
She pulled up the line.
Oh my God.
There it was. A baby crab clinging to the fish head.  

I scooped the crab into the net and my niece took control of the operation, which allowed me to take my camera out of my pocket and snap away.  
Baby crab in net.  Niece extricating baby crab from net.  Niece holding baby crab in fingers.  And finally niece posing with baby crab.  

She didn’t seem at all disappointed that it was a baby crab.  A tiny crab.  A minuscule crab.
Nor was I alarmed that she was holding the crab in her hand.  It seemed harmless.
Until . . . until . . . it . . . he . . . she . . . decided to fight back.  
Maybe a crab lives in a family unit and didn’t realize that we were going to throw him/her back into the bay after the photo shoot.  Maybe he/she panicked. 
Somehow, the crab twisted around in my niece’s fingers.  She felt something.  A bite?  Was this a man eating crab?
My niece screamed and began shaking her hand, trying to dislodge the crab, but the crab now seemed crazy-glued to the palm of her hand.  The more she shook her hand, the tighter he/she clung.
“Help,” my niece cried.  
My Chuckster jumped into action. He leaped into the air, and with his paw, swatted the crab out of my niece’s hand.  It flew into the air and landed into the water with a splash.  Immediately, the crab disappeared under the water.  The entire incident seemed surreal.
We stood there for a minute, staring at the water in the bay.   
“I can’t believe . . .”
“It’s lucky that baby crab didn’t eat your hand.”
        "Thanks, Chuck."
Chuckie gave a soft meow.  
         I cleared my throat.  “I think the kid wants his reward,” I said, thinking to myself that in Chuck’s world, it always always comes down to SNACKS.

To read more about Chuck and his adventures, log onto 
www.katelutter.com.

Wild Point Island, my paranormal romance, is now available at Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com in paperback and ebook formats for your Kindle and Nook.  







 

Chuck and Five Wild Girls--Can Never Go Home Again

      

Karen and Caroline relaxing before the arduous pilgrimage to our hometown.

This is me, your blogger, relaxing in my sister's new luxurious tent.

My sister, Cheryl, relaxing before we make the long journey back to our childhood home.

Our youngest sister Cyndi relaxing before we leave.

        You can never go home again.

The moment I said something to Chuck about what I wanted to do, he gave one of his low guttural moans.  

        Bad idea.  

How many poets, authors, and I guess people who are a lot smarter than me would have agreed with my rascal cat?

So why didn’t I listen?

No, instead, I talked my four sisters, my four wild sisters, and my rascal cat into pilgrimaging back to our hometown--a tiny no nothing town in New Jersey--yes, Bruce Springsteen land--no, we’re not on the Jersey shore but close enough to it --yeah--to revisit our old haunts because it was the tenth anniversary of our father’s death--and we wanted to somehow pay tribute.  

We would visit the house we’d grown up in, the church we’d attended as kids, the school we’d gone to, and the cemetery that now held the remains of our parents.  

So we met at my sister’s house, piled into my other sister’s car--which was big enough to hold all of us (although the minute we squeezed in, Chuck let out a SIGH that reverberated off the leather seating) and we set off for lunch--our first stop.  Food to nourish the soul and to give us time to plan our itinerary.  

We decided to go to a diner, which we’d gone to growing up and which was still there.  Thank God.  Because, of course, I was already dreading that so many things would be different . . . changed . . . since we’d last been to South _________.  So we pulled up --anticipating the food would be less than, well, perhaps a little too GREASY.  Determined to ignore that aspect, we each ordered some type of sandwich because every sandwich came with--and had come with for over 50 years--cucumber salad and coleslaw.  That was the traditional appetizer that we longed to eat.

The waitress arrived and plopped the cucumber salads down.  What??  My first disappointment.  

I wasn’t going to say anything, but then I couldn’t hold it in. 

“It’s disgusting.  They put the cucumber salad in plastic cups.  It’s come to this.”

The fact that it tasted different didn’t even matter.  It was those plastic cups!

They used to serve their cucumber salad on real plates.  

We, somehow, made it through the meal.  

My sister Karen tried to cheer us up.  “Let’s go visit Sacred Heart.”

She meant the Church and the school we went to as kids.
       A private Catholic school that, unfortunately, had closed the year before.  The building was still there, but it had been taken over by someone else.  We drove half a mile from the diner into the parking lot, parked the car, stared at the school, which looked the same, ignored the new owner’s sign, and then went into the Church.  Safe haven?  At least the Church was still the same.  

From the outside, the Church looks exactly the same.

The school looked the same, too, if you didn't look at the new sign plastered on the front of the building.  This is where I went to first to eighth grade.  All my brothers and sisters went here, too.  

Or so we thought.

Inside, we winced when we saw that the pews we used to sit in, on the left side of the church, had been removed to make way for the Choir.  

You can see where the chairs are--that's where we used to sit in the pews.  Just another disappointment!  Another change!

        What!    

        Here’s my memory.  Every Sunday we’d pile into the car, go to the bakery, then park on the street near the Church, enter in through the side door at exactly 9:20 for the 9:30 mass.  But now the pews were gone.  

Caroline, deciding whether she should protest about the missing pews, by manning the pulpit.

   

Cheryl and Karen eagerly wait to hear what she has to say . . .

Cyndi arrives just at the perfect moment, but Caroline decided not to speak out after all.  

              Chuck peeked out of my smart bag.  I tried to explain why I was upset.  (Meanwhile, we were hoping a priest wouldn’t see a cat in church.)

My sister Cheryl broke the silence.  “Let’s go home.”  She meant it was time to visit our childhood home.  My other sister Caroline chimed in, “And let’s drive around to the back of the house and see what they did to the back yard.”  She meant the new owners.

We had a plan.

We drove the route we used to walk as kids.  It was only a mile, but it had seemed much longer than that when you’re in grade school and have to walk through rain and snow.  

The house we used to live in had been sold years ago when my mother died.  It looked completely different.  We parked one house away and stared at it.  My sister Cheryl and I both took a picture.  Then we drove around to the back, where there used to be woods, where we played as kids.  The town had now built a park.  We drove through and parked the car.  It started to rain, but we didn’t care.  Now, like peeping toms, we snuck up and surveyed our old back yard. 

My memory of our yard: Hedges surrounded the yard.  There was a giant oak tree.  A sand pile with swings.  A pool.  A garden.   

Now the yard was small--so small.  Someone had removed the giant oak tree.  There was no pool or garden.  Only grass.  Just grass.   And a tall white fence replaced the hedges.  

We climbed back into the car in near silence.  

We have three brothers.  One is a captain of the police department in our hometown.  We stopped on a whim and by some miracle he was in the parking lot, leaving to go home.  We told Matt about the missing oak tree.  He said that maybe it had been hit by lightnining in a storm and that’s why it had been removed.  Maybe.  But seeing him buoyed our spirits.

Matt took this shot as we gathered together in the parking lot of the police station.

Then it was onto the cemetery.  My mom and dad are laid to rest--side by side--in the mausoleum.  I always say the same thing when we come to visit as a group.  I repeat what my youngest sister Cyndi said so many years ago when my mother died.  “It isn’t fair,” she'd said.  “You had her for so much longer than I did.”  

“Do you remember what you said, Cyndi, when mommy died?” 

She nods.  

The mausoleum where my parents are buried.

The one thing we don’t talk about this time is the dream we all had about a year after she died.  We all dreamed she came back to our childhood home and knocked on the front door.  She came to visit for a day.  She came back from heaven for a day because we’d all said--if we could only have her for one more day.  We all had the same dream.  

You can never go home again, or rather you should never go home again.  

Let the memories stay as they were.  

Those childhood memories shouldn’t be disturbed.  

I know that now.  The Chuckster knew that before we started.  

I write novels for a living.  In Wild Point Island, my heroine--Ella Pattenson--returns to her childhood home with her sister, Lily, to rescue her father from imprisonment.  Twenty years have passed since she’s been on the island.  But when she arrives at her childhood home, everything is the same.  There’s not even dust on the furniture.  

That’s my fantasy.  

I wish that somehow, there could be a way to return to your childhood home, and it would look exactly the way you left it.  

Wouldn't that be lovely??

Well, as I’m riding home, back to my home now, with my husband and five cats, I turn to Chuck.  

“I have to say, Chuck, you were remarkably well-behaved today.  No funny business.  No jumping around.  No unruly behavior.”

He just rolls around onto his back and strikes that famous Chuck pose.

  

I read his mind.  “Yes, you can.  As soon as we get home.  Extra cat snacks and nice long walk in the backyard.  I promise.”

         

        If you'd like to read more about Chuck and his adventures, log onto www.katelutter.com

        Wild Point Island, my paranormal romance, is now available, in paperback and ebook formats at Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com.  

                 

Chuck Sees the Ocean and Becomes A Soggy Mess of Fur

The rascal cat is a real fan of the Jersey Shore.

No, not those crazy kids who have been on reality TV for the last five years or so--burning up the TV tube with their antics. Dare I say Snookie?

I’m referring to the real Jersey shore--the physical entity of land and water--the beautiful waves that crest along the beach--the mythical reality that predates reality TV, the Jersey shore that Bruce Springsteen used to sing about.

That’s the Jersey shore that most Jerseyans know and are proud of, not the parody it has become on national TV.

Oh well, that’s another story.

Down in Atlantic City, traipsing along the famed boardwalk, Chuckie caught his first glimpse of the Jersey shore, the moment we headed out of a certain casino. He could smell the delicious salt water and feel the breeze that blew in from the ocean, but let’s face it, the boardwalk provided plenty of distractions for a rascal cat.

On the way back from out tarot card reading, however, I walked him over to where he could get a real glimpse of the ocean.

There is nothing better, and if you are guardian to a cat, even if he’s a rascal cat, you know what I mean by this--there is nothing better than to watch when a cat goes into that state of awareness--I call it becoming MESMERIZED. He stared straight ahead, and, of course, began to sniff. Now when a cat sniffs, he puts all his energy into it. His nose twitches in the most delightful way. His whiskers move back and forth. He literally seems to inhale the air around him the way someone would inhale smoke from a Cuban cigar. They take it all in. And you just know that because cats are so sensitive to smell, that he is picking up so much information.

As a human, I smell salt and, maybe, some fish, but Chuckie, not doubt, can smell so many things--animals, and people and events that have occurred present and past.

He seems so content there, that I honestly do not anticipate what happens next.

But, just as I turn my head, look back to the boardwalk, because I hear some kind of music and it sounds like old-fashioned organ grinder music, Chuck leaps from my arms and onto the boards in front of us. Of course, he takes off--toward the ocean--the beach.

The curious kid just has to know what’s out there.

“Chuck.”

He ignores me.

The same old story.

“Chuck, come back here.

The kid, despite the fact that he has a belly, can scamper like the wind, and by this point, he flies past the gigantic WARNING SIGN that talks about dangerous rip tides and currents and is off the board and has plopped himself onto the sand. He stops immediately. He lifts first one paw, then another. He has never walked in sand before.

He is sniffing away. Distracted by all the smells, he slows down.

Thank God.

I move closer and I can almost put my hands on him, when he sprints forward toward the ocean.

Would the kid be dumb enough to run directly into the ocean?

No, I tell myself. Cats hate water. They hate getting wet.

But, honestly, Chuck, even though he has the tendency to be an over-groomer--Mr. Clean--doesn’t mind slopping around in dirty situations.

So there he goes--

And there it comes--

A WAVE.

“Chuck, watch out.”

The kids must have angels watching over him. He backs away literally at the last final second and avoids becoming totally soaked. Instead, the wave crashes near enough to scare the bejeebers out of him. Let’s just say he is SPRINKLED with salt water, his coat is dripping, and he retreats with that look in his eye like he’s had enough.

“Well,” I say, trying not to sound overly sarcastic, “this is the Jersey Shore. What do you think?”

No answer, of course.

And, now, he expects me to pick him up--a soggy mess of fur--and put him back in my smart bag and sneak him back into the hotel.

Gees.

Wild Point Island, my paranormal romance, is available on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com.  Recently it was rated 5 Stars by The E Book Reviewers, who said, "At the very core . . . is a multi-level mystery, with plot twists and turns that you never expected. And there is a deep touching love story that grasped my heart and never let go.  This is one book you must go buy now; once you start reading, you won’t be able to put it back down."  

       

Chuck Walks the Boards and Visits a Fortune Teller

And that is one thing I have grown accustomed to--as the official guardian of a rascal cat--Chuck always has another idea.

The kid is full of ideas.

Good ideas and bad ideas.

Now, as we were making our way back to our hotel room--ensconced in the escalator--after Chuck had squandered every penny of my twenty bucks playing the slots--he pushed a card out of my smart bag and it tumbled to the floor.

A calling card advertising a certain madame on the boardwalk. No, not that kind of madame. A tarot-card-reading-fortune-telling madame by the name of Sylvia. Sylvia?

Was the kid for real?

“Why?” We had this conversation the next early afternoon after we finally woke up. “Why do you need to have your fortune told? What is it you need to know?”

But, as usual, Chuck pretended not to hear me. He was too busy gazing out the large window that overlooked the ocean, fascinated by the waves that swept into shore. He had never seen the Jersey shore before. Or the ocean.

“We can spend the day on the beach,” I promised.

Chuck remained firm.

I know Chuck when he gets into one of his moods. He gets an idea in his head and he just won’t budge. Like hardened cement.

So, yeah, you guessed it. The next thing I knew, after lunch -- because the kid never misses a meal -- we were trekking down the Jersey boardwalk in search of Sylvia.

I half prayed that, perhaps, she had gone out of business. Or that we wouldn’t find her. But, unfortunately, she had a little storefront not too far from where we were staying with her name prominently displayed in front.

“SYLVIA. PSYCHIC READINGS. TAROT CARDS”

We were doomed, I thought. But then I had another thought. Maybe she would have some objection to doing a reading for a CAT. Oooh, things were looking brighter. After all, who could ever tell what a cat was thinking?

So, in I marched through the door, into the darkened hallway -- why are they always so dark -- and up to the counter. A woman stood there.

“Yes? Can I help you?” she asked.

“I’m not sure. I--”

“You want your fortune read?”

“I want a fortune read, but it isn’t for me. You see . . .” and I paused for dramatic effect. “It’s for . . . my CAT.”

I don’t know what I expected. But this woman -- Sylvia -- didn’t blink an eye. “Whatever. That will be ten dollars.”

And why should she care? After all, my fortune. Chuck’s fortune. It was the same ten dollars for two minutes worth of work.

“You can do a reading on a CAT?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Follow me.”

I was caught. Now I had to go through with it.

“I hope you’re happy,” I whispered to Chuck as I walked around the counter and into a corner room on the right.

“Put Chuck there,” she said.

Now that was spooky, because I hadn’t said his name at all, but I did what she wanted.

She pulled out a deck of cards, tarot cards, and like in the movies, began placing them down on the table in front of us.

“For this reading,” she said looking directly at Chuck, “The cards tell me three things.” Then she proceeded to stare at the cards. Touch one in particular. “Ah. You will live a long life. For a cat.” She almost smiled.

Then she fingered another card, and it was as if she was receiving special information through her fingertips. “You are lucky. You will be very healthy in your life. No major illnesses that I can see.”

She closed her eyes then and waved her hands over the cards that remained on the table. Settled on a third card. Her eyes popped open. “Ah. Now this is very interesting. A stranger will come into your life. A mysterious stranger. This is not always good news, my furry friend. But, luckily, in this situation, this stranger will bring you much happiness.”

I heaved a sigh of relief. At least from all this mumbo jumbo we had gotten good news.

After we left, as we walked back to our hotel room, I wondered if Chuck believed the fortune teller or not.

Personally, I was on the fence.

It didn’t seem possible that anyone could tell the future and yet, Sylvia had known Chuck’s name. And that freaked me out.

I hadn’t said his name. He wasn’t wearing his name anywhere on him.

And, literally, we had just shown up on her doorstep.

I reached the only obvious conclusion I could make -
Sylvia was either a real psychic or she was an incredibly good guesser.

Chuck Gets Faked Out - The French Way

The kid never seems to stop thinking. Or plotting may be the best word. After our little jaunt to Deauville, where Chuck impressed the girls with his “mussel opening” trick, Bob and I decided to do something for ourselves--or so we thought. I wanted to see Giverny--the luscious place where Monet had lived and painted and been inspired to do some of his loveliest impressionistic paintings.

I had no idea, whatsoever, that Chuck was into Monet.

Sure, I have Monet prints hanging around my house, but who expects a rascally cat like Chuck to notice, who seems to be more in tuned to watching Jersey Shore or the Kardashians on TV?

Well, he had noticed, and it seemed Chucky boy had been harboring a secret wish to see some of these paintings in person.

Now if you have ever been to Giverny, you know what a mob scene it can be. Tourists galore cram the place--milling about the beautiful grounds--admiring Monet’s gardens, the waterlily pond, and especially his house. Everyone wants to go inside the house and see how the great painter lived.

And Chuck had heard that Monet had one room completely filled with tons of his paintings. That’s the room that Chuck wanted to see.

Now this wasn’t going to be easy because as in most touristy places--NO CATS WERE ALLOWED. I would have to be super sneaky if Chuck was going to be able to stick his head out of my shoulder bag and see anything!

Of course, as soon as we arrived, we headed straight for the house. Chuck would have it no other way. Up the front steps and through the center hallway. He had no interest in seeing the kitchen or the exquisitely decorated dining room. And he was very squirmy, a bit pissed off that he had to keep his head hidden when if he were a dog, he could have most likely trotted into the house and barked his head off, and no one would have said a word. Yes, it is true. In France, the French people love their dogs and take them everywhere with them--drugstores, restaurants, etc. But that’s another story.

Anyway, here we were hurrying through Monet’s house because Chuck seemed about to burst inside my bag when we finally made it into the “painting” room. Strange, but I expected to see guards with machine guns or heavy guns at the door to the room. There were guards all right, but they stood around holding cell phones, with a kind of bored expression on their faces, as if they didn’t much care if someone stole one of the paintings.

Chuck peeked out and from that first instant, was mesmerized. I had to keep moving around the room, of course, and I felt sorry for the kid. He just wanted to stop and stare at one painting after another, as if he could get lost inside the picture. He seemed truly awestruck that he was face to face with a genuine Monet.

A stranger tapped me on the shoulder. “What you got there, a cat?”

I nodded. “He’s really into Monet.”

“Nice,” he said, reaching out his hand to try and pet Chuck, which was not such a smart idea. Chuck wouldn’t bite him or anything, but when Chuck is into something, he doesn’t like to be interfered with.

“He’s impressed,” I said to this total stranger. “You see, he’s never seen a real Monet before.”

The stranger laughed. “Yeah, right.”

Instantly, I detected something was wrong.
“What?”

“Real Monet, you say? Is that what this little guy thinks?”

Chuck whirled around at that moment, and you could see it in his eyes. He knew something was up. He knew something terrible was about to be said. His bubble was about to be burst.

The stranger said, “These aren’t real Monets.”

I gulped.

Then he waved his arm around the room, as if he needed to further illustrate his point. “I mean look. Do you see any armed guards anywhere? If these paintings were real, we’d be talking millions of dollars.”

I heard a sniffle coming from my shoulder bag. Poor Chuck, I thought.

The stranger reeled in on me. “You should be ashamed of yourself for deceiving this poor little guy. Letting him think he’s looking at the genuine article. These are all reproductions. Can you say that word, little guy? Reproductions.”

But Chuck had no intention of saying anything. He snarled, then disappeared like a puff of French cigarette smoke into my bag.

I stepped back away from the stranger and made a bee-line for the door. “Sorry, Chuck. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

And I thought back to what my husband had said back in Deauville--that it was humiliating that we, no I, was no smarter than a cat.