Theo and the Alpacas

I thought alpacas were mean animals that looked suspiciously like llamas. I was wrong on both counts.

Recently, during the holidays, my sisters, Theo and I journeyed to an alpaca farm in Virginia. It is my youngest sister Cyndi's idea. I have to admit--I'm not really into it, but Theo--who, of course, has just seen a segment on alpacas on the History Channel--insists we go. 

It is cold and raining--unusual weather for Virginia, and we expect we will have to tramp through mud for the "full tour experience," but when Theo looks at you with those pleading eyes, how can anyone say no?

Besides, my sisters--who all love animals and have pets--seem really into it. They, in fact, are thrilled that they're going to meet a herd of alpacas face to face. I'm secretly wondering how long the tour will last. Theo is chomping at the bit.

"Aren't you the least bit afraid of sniffing them?" I ask.

Theo looks at me as if I'm insane. "It's something I have to do," he announces. 

The alpaca farm we plan to visit is approximately seven acres. We learn from the charming couple who own the farm that the 20 or so alpacas like to live together. They are social animals. There are also two gigantic dogs--guard dogs--on the property--beautiful dogs with the whitest and fluffiest fur--who guard against predators like the coyote who might visit the farm at night in search of an alpaca dinner. 

I soon learn I know nothing about alpacas. After an introductory talk, we learn that alpacas:

are considered domesticated 

are from South America

are a small relative of the camel

weigh approximately 110 - 190 pounds

are unusually shaped with long legs, long necks, small heads, pointed ears, and big eyes (which make them so appealing) and weird toes on their feet (which look almost like the toes of a devil)

are rumored to be spitters if you get too close. Not true. If you get too close and scare them, they will blow air at you to discourage you getting any closer. Sometimes some saliva may come with the air, but technically, that's not really spitting.

are covered with hypoallergenic fur which is water proof, warm, and less itchy and can also act as a repellant to other animals. For example, a bit of fur on a bush at home that deer like to eat can help keep your bush safe.

Very interesting. My concern is how will Theo react when he meets an alpaca face to face? How will the alpaca react? And what about those giant white guard dogs? Will they see Theo as an intruder, a coyote in disguise?

Theo is a small cat. He fits into my backpack, no problem. He is snuggled in there and I assume he's sleeping. Maybe that's my way out. I can tell him afterwards--you slept thru the entire alpaca tour. 

No such luck.

Remember cats are good at sniffing. As soon as we enter the barn, he wakes up and begins to rustle around. He can smell them. My sister paid for this tour--for five humans. No cats were included.

I strategize. I'll slowly back away from my sisters who are gathered around listening to the charming couple and feeding the alpacas from a small zippered bag filled with grain. I notice a few alpacas out of the barn eating hay. I'll meander over and let Theo get closer. 

Well, the best laid plans. I do meander over, but Theo leaps out of the backpack and heads straight for one of the alpacas, who is minding his own business. I feel a sense of doom descending as I watch Theo confidently moving toward said alpaca, and, of course, sniffing. 

I am of two minds in this moment. Prevent the close encounter or take a photo of it. Theo and the munching alpaca are nose to nose. Perfect! I drop my backpack to the ground, pull my phone out of my pocket, and as I am just about to click, a second alpaca who is sniffing the grain in the small bag that is also in my coat pocket, pushes me from behind. 

He wants a snack. He is trying to get my attention. My i Phone lands in the soggy hay beneath my feet. I retrieve it. I'll take a video.

No Theo. He's disappeared. Par for the course. No cat.

Now the second alpaca is pulling the grain bag out of my pocket, determined to snack at all costs. Two thoughts cross my mind--hold onto that bag of snacks and find Theo.

It all works out. I panicked for nothing. In a few short minutes, Theo jumps back into my backpack, and I am calmly feeding the alpacas as if nothing has happened. 

"Well, wasn't this a great idea?" Cyndi asks.

"I loved it!" Caroline says.

"They're so cute," Cheryl says.

"I'm freezing." That's Karen. 

It's time to go to the gift shop and head home. 

"Well, Theo, what did you think?" 

He's cuddled up. Hand over his face. Fast asleep. No comment.

Theo and I wish everyone a Happy New Year!