Mico and The Drain Stoppers

      We've never lived with a cat like Mico. He's cute as a button, faster than a speeding bullet as he careens around corners, and as wily as a fox. He looks like an angel when he's sleeping. When he's awake, this perky one year old rapscallion is always hatching a plot--to secure more snacks or more toys.

       Well, the truth is everything Mico sees or smells is a toy. 

        After Theo solves the missing mouthguard case, Dan and I put ourselves on high alert. 

        "We can't leave anything out."

         "Absolutely nothing."

         "Agreed."

        We think we're smart. We have the immediate situation under control. But then the unthinkable happens. Two drain stoppers in two different sinks upstairs disappear. Drain stoppers? To explain how mysterious this is (by this time we have a sinking feeling in the pit of our stomach--no pun intended--that Mico, that dextrous nymph is somehow involved) you must realize that Mico must have taken his two front paws, brought them together and lifted the stopper out of the hole that it sits while balancing himself in the sink.  

        We canvas the entire house. All the usual haunts--under beds and behind dressers. We check, of course, the stairs where Theo found the mouthguard.

       No drain stoppers. Nothing is ever easy.

        Every time I use the upstairs bathrooms, I feel sick inside. It's an eyesore. The sink drain sits there, totally exposed. 

       Finally, in desperation, we discuss in whispers how to solve the problem. 

       "What can we offer Theo to get him to help?" Dan asks.

       "Maybe we can sit him down and just ask him."

        Dan laughs. But it works. Theo, within a matter of seconds, finds the missing drain stopper for the hall bathroom. I feel so grateful I let him eat a Tuna and Scallop Churo all by himself. 

         Practically on hands and knees, we beseech Theo to find the other drain stopper. The one for the master bathroom. Theo shrugs. 

         Days go by. No drain stopper. We imagine that Theo is engaged in intense negotiations with Mico, trying to discover where he's hidden it. 

         Three mornings later I'm in the kitchen putting out three bowls of food, but only Theo is pacing back and forth, slipping between my legs, impatient for his food. 

         Where are Sienna and Mico? We check all the rooms, under all the beds, in the closets . . . and finally turn to Theo, who by this time has eaten his breakfast.

         "We give up. Where are they?"

         His eyes get bigger than usual.

         "With the drain stopper," I guess, half kidding.

         Theo leads us up the stairs, down the hallway and stops at the hall bathroom. He nods. "I had to do it, see?"

        We look in. The room is totally empty. Except . . .

         "You don't think . . ." We whisk the shower curtain aside. Two guilty kittens stare back at us. Sienna and Mico. 

          And behind Mico--the drain stopper.

          Theo explains, "I told them it was today. See? When I was going to turn them in."

          I grab the drain stopper. Sienna is watching me. Mico is pouting in the bathtub, refusing to come out.

 

        Then it hits me--I've got the stopper, but I can't put it back in the drain where it belongs--Mico will take it again. So, in the drawer it goes. And the sink drain sits there, STILL totally exposed. 

         But we relent. Days later we reinsert the drain stopper with a new plan. Push the button to make sure it is lying flat in the sink. Then pour water over it so Mico will have to wet his paws to even get near it.

         Self satisfied that we've solved the problem, we relax. But . . . one day someone forgets to push down the stopper and put the water on top of it. 

          Yeah, Mico strikes again. This time Theo says, "Mom . . ." So now we have one drain stopper in the drawer and one drain stopper who knows where . . . 

           If Mico wasn't so cute . . .

         

         

        

         

          

Theo Gets Blown Away

           We are on our way to see an historical landmark. Mostly for Theo, who for some unexplained reason, has taken a liking to Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson, the greatest officer in the history of Britain's Royal Navy. He was a HERO during the same time as when Napoleon rampaged around Europe, and Nelson was sent to Antigua for three years to enforce British laws.

         "This harbor is famous," Dan says, "I don't blame Theo for wanting to see it."

       

  

          I have my doubts, but I don't say anything.

          "There's a lot to see," Dan adds. "A great view. Old military buildings. Officer's quarters . . ."

        

      

      I like great views, but these ruins are still under reconstruction. It's hard for me to imagine the way they used to be. 

        Unfortunately, Dan fails to mention the most important point. It's windy up there on the Heights. Not just a little windy. It feels like you're standing in the middle of a maelstrom. 

          After we pose, I begin to be afraid my camera will get blown out of my hand. Or if I get to close to the edge, I'll get blown down, down, down to the cliff and then topple over. 

          Then, I begin to fear for Theo.

          He is a gangster cat, no doubt about it, and he's not easily shaken. But his curiosity has drawn him forward. He is standing there, and even though all four paws on the ground, his body is being rocked from right to left. Luckily the wind is blowing towards us, so we're not in danger of being swept off the edge and then downward to our death. 

          "Don't go any closer," I warn Theo. "It's too dangerous." 

           He doesn't hear me. Or he can't hear me because my voice is being pushed back into my throat. My eyes are watering. 

           Theo moves forward, getting way too close to the edge. He is too busy sniffing. Dan is standing next to him, in full blown lecture mode:

           "Admiral Nelson's commission means he's in charge of this very English Harbor, in St. Paul Parish, a harbor which served as a safe way to wait out hurricanes, ideal because it has deep waters close to shore. Nelson is also there to maintain (repair, replenish) Royal Navy warships that captured valuable sugar islands in the Eastern Caribbean. The British do this in order to cut off enemy trade and increase their wealth."

         All of this happened decades ago, but Theo doesn't have a good sense of time. He's listening intently as he's being buffeted about on the highest point--Shirley Heights, a military post built by the British. 

         It's clear where the wind is coming from, but I begin to panic. What if the wind switches direction? Even for a second. Theo will have no chance at all. He will be blown off the cliff. He only weighs 10 pounds. 

          "Admiral Nelson is a true war hero. He has a series of remarkable victories. He is a great strategist. Finally, he's killed at the Battle of Trafalgar. Before that, he looses an arm in battle. It's shattered with grapeshot. It has to be amputated."

         Too much information, I think, but Theo is lapping up every morsel.

          Suddenly, the wind pauses. Oh, no. This is it. The wind is about to shift. Theo, who is perched there as still as a statue (even though his fur is standing on edge) is jostled off balance. I'm about to leap forward and save Theo from impending doom. I see him being blown away, disappearing off the cliff.

          But I'm too late.

          Dan leans over and scoops him in his arms, then turns to me. 

          "Are you okay?" he asks. 

          I compose my face. "Very interesting about Admiral Nelson."

          "Great view," Dan says as he and Theo, together safely look at it just one more time. 

          He's right. It is a great view. 

           

           

            

          

Theo's Hideout

    Antigua may have a rich history but it's not a fairytale history where life was beautiful all the time. 

     As we stand out our balcony gazing at a rapturous view . . .

     . . . an object from the past looms to the right of our villa. It is an ancient stone building that dates back to when Antigua was home to huge plantations that processed sugar and whiskey. With the forced labor from the enslaved Antiguans on the island.

      These ancient leftover structures dot the island--remnants of the past--reminders that when Antigua was a British colony, native Antiguans toiled on sugar plantations.

       We decide to visit on of those plantations--long since inoperative-- and now a memorial to the world that was. Betty's Hope documents a plantation that existed for over 200 years. Owned by the Codrington family, it was one of the richest plantations on the island, producing sugar and whiskey. The family rarely lived on the plantation. They hired an overseer to handle the business.

        The land is now barren. Two windmills still stand to greet us as we enter this place. In those days, wind power was key.

          Inside the Visitor's Center, there's a model of what the plantation used to look like in the 1800's and placards documenting the history.

         How much do we tell Theo, who is happily roaming the grounds, sniffing everything in his past? The story of what happened here is a near tragedy. Is he ready to hear how cruel mankind can be to his fellow man? 

          I keep a careful eye on Theo, but I'm not too concerned. There's little danger here. 

         On the grounds themselves, what remains of the great house (pictured on the placard below) stands on a hill. A fire destroyed most of it in the 1930's. The building stones were recycled to build an Anglican rectory. 

          

         

          Domestic and skilled workers hired to work on the plantation lived in smaller houses, made of stone. 

          Enslaved people were not so lucky. They lived in tiny huts made of perishable materials--mainly Wattle and Daub, which in layman's terms mean mud, manure, sticks and dried grass. There were hundreds of these huts at one time. Windows with no glass. A dried grass roof that has since deteriorated. We see one in the distance. Preserved so that we can see the bare bones of how most of the people who worked this plantation lived.

          The enslaved people who lived in these huts labored in the fields and the boiling house (where they made the sugar or whiskey). I try to imagine what their life must have been like. Cramped living quarters. Too hot in the summer. No privacy. 

           I want to see this hut more closely. I can't quite believe that a family could live in a hut like this. As I move towards it, Dan stops me. 

           "By the way, where's Theo?"

           I don't panic. On this plantation, dotted with ruins of a life that used to be, I should be able to spot this gangster cat in no time--sniffing the great house or the windmills or any of the other leftovers from over 200 years ago.

           We retrace our steps, examining everywhere we've already been--the great house, the worker's house. Dan runs back into the Visitor's Center. No Theo.

        We're in Antigua. The day is getting warmer. I think like a cat. "Where would he go? We know he loves the heat."

            We gaze around.  

            "You don't think . . ." The Wattle and Daub house. Theo has to be there. I'm spurred on by the realization that this house had to be so hot most of the year. Theo would love it.

           We take off briskly toward the Wattle and Daub hut, full of anticipation. As I'm racing towards it, I expect to see him. I know he's there. 

          I peek in. No Theo. What? Then I have a vision, an inspiration.

          There, behind the hut in the tall weeds, curled up and practically fast asleep, Theo is napping. Totally oblivious to the tragic history that surrounds him. He looks so content, I hate to disturb him.

                 

       But I do. "Theo, we were worried. You disappeared. For a nap."

          Theo rubs his eyes, clearly not happy he's been woken up by two overly protective parents. 

           "I did what I have to do. See?"

 

            I whisper to Dan, " He sounds just like a gangster." 

         Then aloud, I say, "I'm glad this place is here--to remind people where we are and where we've been."

          We meander back to our hired car, feeling blessed and so lucky.

Theo and Palm Tree Mania

        Don't ask me to explain, but in Antigua I discover that Theo has a fascination with palm trees. I like to look at them, watch them sway gently in the breeze, and sometimes imagine I live in a place full time surrounded by these wonderful trees. Theo likes to climb them.

      Of course, he denies that, but its clear that Theo's interest in the trees has more to do than with looking or sniffing. I decide early on to nip this in the bud.

      "Climbing palm trees is illegal," I tell him. 

       He looks at me skeptically. And, of course, it's a hard case to make. How else--if not by climbing the tree--would you be able to get the coconuts and dates? He doesn't ask that question, but I see the squint in his eye and almost hear his thoughts as we're strolling along near the villa. We are exactly passing what I now unofficially call "palm tree alley." A row of palm trees greet us as we step out of our villa every morning.

        I shoot Theo the "evil eye"--stay away from those palms. 

        Theo pretends he's not even interested. He's sniffing the air and enjoying the abundant sunshine. But I'm eternally suspicious.

         Dan says, "Now look over there. This is an example of a coconut palm. In Antigua, since 2012, thousands of coconut palms have been destroyed by a lethal yellowing. But the island took action and began a restoration project--replanting 1,000 new trees."

         Theo casually glances over at the coconut palm.

          "And over here," Dan continues, " is the date palm tree. They're very common in northern Antigua (where we are). The date palm was introduced in the 18th century. The Antiguans call this palm tree Nega Oil."

          Theo casually glances over at the date palm.

           So far, so good. We're on our way to the game room to play ping pong, and my plan is to keep Theo moving along. For a moment, I almost think I'm wrong about him. Maybe he does get the message. 

           "See, look here Theo." Dan points to the luscious dates that are hanging from the date palm. I have to admit I've never seen a date palm in person before, so I step closer to take a good look. 

            Later, I realize that Dan's pointing and my stepping closer sends the wrong message. Theo, who seemingly is uninterested, meanders towards the date palm. He begins to sniff the bottom of the tree. 

            I have a flashback. Two years ago when we were in North Carolina, visiting a conservatory with a palm tree, Chuck got too close to the palm and before I knew what was happening, he was climbing upward. 

           I gulp. Chuck was twelve years old by then. Theo is three years old. Chuck had a bucket list. Theo doesn't even know what a bucket list is. 

           But isn't Theo spending too much time sniffing the bottom of this palm tree? He turns around briefly but avoids eye contact with me. Then, in a burst of energy, he shoots up like an arrow headed towards its intended target. 

           "Theo."

           "Look at that kid climb," Dan says in admiration. 

           "I knew he was going to do something dangerous."

            "Oh, he'll be okay. Take a photo. No one will believe this.

Hell, I don't even believe it."

             My hand is shaking as I retrieve my iPhone, find the camera icon, try to focus on his fast moving body and click. 

             Theo, in a flash of sanity, shimmies back down. Exactly the same way Chuck did. His little back legs are spread apart with his back claws firmly entrenched in the tree. He holds on for dear life then jumps down when he's about a foot off the ground.

             "Theo, you're in big trouble."

             "I did what I had to do. See?" he says defiantly.

              What is this about cats? They are so independent. You'd never catch a dog climbing a palm tree!

              "Let me see the photo," Dan says.

               But there is nothing to see. A big blur. That's all I was able to get. Later, of course, Theo half denies having ever climbed that palm tree. 

               "I wanted to climb it," he admits, ". . . but--"

               "But I said it was illegal."

               "Yeah."

               Palm tree mania. I have it, and Theo does, too. 

               "Was it the dates?" I prod. "Is that why you went up there?"

                Theo says nothing--a shrug--but if I'm honest, and if I were a cat, I would have done the same thing.

               

              

              

            

            

           

           

          

         

        

         

Theo's Revenge

         Maybe we can just stay in Antigua forever.

       Dan is discovering (and I already discovered) that Antigua is a magical place. The temps are in the low eighties at this time of year in January, but a cool ocean breeze makes it possible to enjoy the sunshine without breaking a sweat.

       We leave Theo at our villa with his chow and snacks, go to dinner in a lovely out door restaurant, and now--just the two of us--get to enjoy Antigua at night. Technically, we are in the parish of St. John's, in the northwest portion of Antigua. It is the capital of Antigua, founded in 1692, and has a population of close to 60,000. 

         We can't resist taking a photo of our villa and of the pool that sits in front of where we're staying. 

 

        

      As we walk back from dinner, we feel like we've left Kansas (so to speak) like in the Wizard of Oz and are following the yellow brick road (in our case it's a pale white) towards a place filled with palm trees and Caribbean magic.

 

          The dream is short lived. The next morning we go to breakfast. I'd like to say that Theo's almost encounter with the bird--who we now realize was a pigeon--is forgotten. But I can tell that Theo has forgotten nothing. 

          He is gazing around--not at the beautiful scenery--but rather he is acting more like a spy in enemy territory. Expecting at any second to be ambushed. On high alert. 

         I try to calm him down. "We're going to breakfast. There's nothing to worry about."

         He looks at me as if I am delusional. 

         I order the Eggs Benedict but Dan orders the Antiguan breakfast--an interesting mixture of foods which includes salted cod. Fish. Theo begs for a piece, and it is in that moment of feeding Theo that the nightmare begins to unfold. 

          

         Suddenly a bird swoops into view--an unwanted visitor--and this time it is the Carib Grackle. And why am I surprised? His reputation has preceded him. So, this is the bold bird who will fly into a restaurant and steal the food right off your plate. 

           Carib Grackle hasn't seen us yet, but Theo has seen him. He immediately freezes. His normally sweet eyes turn into laser beams as he spots his new arch enemy.

            And then it happens. 

 

            The Grackle flies to a table close to ours and pretending not to notice Theo, begins his reconnaissance--searching for anything edible that he can scoop up and take back to his nest. He is a forager, a scavenger, eager to collect any food left over from the family who's just vacated the table. He spies the bread basket.  

              

             I'm thinking at this moment that this is a good development. Grackle eats the bread. Theo eats the fish. I glance down and Theo, super suspicious, has one paw protectively over the fish as if he is anticipating the Grackle's next move. 

      

         Would he dare? Steal the fish from a cat? And not just some ordinary cat. Theo has a reputation. He's a gangster cat, and he's not likely to take an enemy invading his territory lightly.

           I lean down and pet Theo for reassurance. He's sitting at my feet, partially under the table. But he isn't eating. He's watching. He's waiting. 

        

           "Eat the fish, Theo," I say, but Theo waits. Obviously, he knows the bird kingdom better than I do, and sure enough before I can say another word, the Grackle flies to the railing. He pretends to be grooming. He pretends to be totally unconcerned about Theo and his fish. 

            

           This bird was smart, I realize later.

        My guard goes down. Dan is eating his breakfast, and I sit back, about to finish mine. Too much worry about nothing. 

  

        A flash. A scuffle. Theo reacts better than I would expect. Carib Grackle swoops down low, as if he thinks he can swipe up the fish in his claws as he's flying by. Theo, one step ahead, sits on top of the fish.  He then raises his right paw like a fist to fend off the invader.

        The fight over the salt cod is over in a mini-second. The Carib Grackle flies off to another table. Theo relaxes and begins to eat. 

        Dan says, "What just happened?"

 

        "I'm not sure," I say, "but I think it's over, and Theo won."

         "For now."

         We glance down at Theo. "Well?"

          Cats can't smile. But if they could, I bet you he would have a big fat smile on his fishy face.

         

            

            

Antiguan Adventure #1:Theo and the Grackle

             This is my third time visiting Antigua, a small Caribbean island, and Dan's first. I love the warm climate, blue skies, beautiful vistas, palm trees, infinity pool and beaches. Dan does too, but his obsession is to play tennis. Theo, the gangster cat,  . . . well,  I promise him sunny days on the veranda and lots of snacks. And, of course, an adventure.

         We arrive. The scenery is stunning. The ocean is so close you can smell it. The houses are pink, yellow, green and all shades bright and cheery. 

          Dan, as usual, shares some history of this delicious island with Theo. "Antigua was originally a British colony. The island was dotted with sugar plantations. The British also made rum. The native Antiguans who lived here, mostly slaves, had a terrible standard of living."

          We're not sure if Theo is listening. He's gazing out the window of the taxi, seemingly lost in thought. Is he more impressed by the beautiful scenery and less by the history of Antigua? 

       

          "Antigua gained its independence in 1981."

           Still, no response from Theo.

           "There are  365 beaches. Mostly all public beaches. And the island is only 108 square miles."  

            "That's a lot of beaches," I add. 

            Still, Theo hasn't said a meow. 

            We arrive at our villa and immediately change into our bathing suits. From our veranda, the lovely pool awaits.  The sun is shining. 

           "Come on, Theo." I figure what harm can he get into hanging out by the pool? Sure enough, he spots a lounge chair and hops up. 

            "Time for a nap," I suggest.

            I often wonder what the world looks like from a cat's point of view. As Dan and I admire the scenery and the architecture of the houses AND long to jump into the water, what is Theo thinking? 

            I glance over and he's closing his eyes, about to drift off. Purrfect. 

            Well, best laid plans. You know what they say. In our defense we are lulled by the Caribbean breezes and, perhaps, dulled by the two glasses of Rum punch that we find in our suite. The water is so refreshing after the usual nonsense plane ride that we lose ourselves in the moment.  

            A bird lands on the tile surrounding the pool. From a distance it looks brown with some purple plumage.  Could it be the Carib Grackle? I've heard things about this bird. Highly aggressive. Smart. They're excellent at foraging for insects on the ground and not above flying into restaurants and stealing food right off the tables. 

            I grab my iPhone and figure, if this bird is up to no good, I'm going to catch him in the act. 

            The problem is I'm so intent on capturing the video, I miss the possibilities. Theo. He sees the bird, too. His mouth opens, and I hear Theo making those sounds that cats make when they're envisioning a full course meal--ch, ch, ch. Suddenly he's sitting upright. His tail has fattened, and it's waving like mad. He's crouching. NO . . .

           Theo jumping off the lounge chair and lunging for the bird plays like a scene in a disaster movie. 

           "Stop," I scream.

            The bird doesn't even turn its head. But I suspect the so far innocent bird can sense danger coming its way. 

             Theo, our little gangster cat, is in mid air when the bird moves, an elegant side step that catches Theo unaware. Theo crash lands onto the very wet deserted tile and with so much momentum pushing him forward, begins to slide toward the edge of the pool. 

            I can see it all clearly. Theo careening into the waiting water. Splashing about. I can't think. Can cats swim? There's the doggy paddle, but what about cats? Theo actually likes water, but swimming?  

             "Get Theo."

             But, no, he doesn't slide into the pool. Later, when we discuss the incident, I ask Theo pointblank. "What were you planning to do?"

             Theo shrugs. "I only wanted to sniff him."

              I narrow my eyes. "You can not commit murder near the infinity pool."

              Theo shrugs. "I do what I have to do. See?"

               That is not the answer I'm hoping for. "I mean it, Theo."

               Dan interrupts, "You know the bird we saw near the pool--it  wasn't a Grackle. I think it was a pigeon."

               "What?"

              Little do I know, this eternal struggle between cat and bird will continue. See you next week for Part 2.

               

             

               

Cats--Only Kids in Disguise?

      It used to be so easy to go on vacation. It used to be so easy to leave them behind. Hire a cat sitter. Clean the liters. Leave detailed instructions. Arrange their food on the counter.  There were days when I left five furry cat babies behind. 

       Then, when Chuck traveled with us, we left three cats behind . . . and therein lies the problem. Not with Theo who knows the drill. 

        But . . . that we're planning to leave Mico and Sienna behind. 

        Because something strange has happened in the last few weeks. They have become less like cats and more like kids. It is as if they are reincarnated small kids who have somehow found their way into our cat's bodies. 

         Is it me? I don't think so. After all, I see plenty of evidence of this phenomena on Facebook: Cats dressed up in outfits (it used to be only dogs but now cats are wearing little jackets, booties and hats). Cats treated to spa days--wearing robes, getting massages, and having cucumbers placed on their eyes. Cats talking or they seem to have some kind of human voice that is projected onto the video as if the owner feels sorry for them and feels the need to turn their meows into words. 

          I can identify with treating your cats like kids, but I'm talking about when your cats actually start acting/looking like kids. 

         Here's my evidence:

         Sienna sleeps on our bed now and puts her head on our pillow. Just like a kid would. She hangs out by the stairs, listening into conversations just like we used to do--as kids. And she's always looking out the window to see if her friends are outside playing.

   

      Theo, the little gangster cat, pitifully moans or whines (like a kid in pain) when he wants more snacks. He's already put his toys on top of my suitcase for the trip. And his paws look more like fingers--kid's fingers.

        

          Mico uses his golden eyes. He trains them on you whenever he feels like he's not being treated with respect. He eats the plants as if they were candy, like a kid. And he sulks like a kid, sometimes hiding under the guest bed for hours. 

           Dan said, "Are you sure you really want to go?"

          "Are you kidding me?" (But I was thinking the same thing.)

          "I'm going to miss them."

          "Shsh. They'll hear you." I pause, wondering if this could be some elaborate plan on their part, orchestrated to make us feel guilty. Did Theo watch some program--how to act like a kid to get what you want?

          "Do you think they're acting this way on purpose?"

           "You mean like kids?"

            We stare at each other.  He gulps or I gulp. Why are they so darned cute? We both look back at the suitcases. Soon, we'll begin packing. 

            Then it happens. We walk into the guest room and find Sienna, all curled up and fast asleep--no, not on our master bed but on top of Dan's suitcase. 

             "Maybe we can take all three with us," Dan says as a solution. 

              For a minute, we both smile. Yes. But then reality reasserts itself. They're only cats. Not kids. Repeat after me. Cats. Not kids. Cats.

              Who are we kidding? These cats are our kids!!

             In honor of Chucky, the rascal cat. Gone but never forgotten. We miss him everyday.